Woody....

Toy Story 1, showed Woody's life as a toy of Andy's, how they met Buzz LightYear and finally bring him back with them to Andy and became one of their family members. Toy Story 2 showed how Woody brought another new toy, a cowgirl and a horse to the new family as well and also how the toys went off and still get back to Andy at the end of the show.

As for Toy Story 3, it was somehow the same as what happened in Toy Story 1 and 2, whereby the toys were sent to a daycare mistakenly and how they find their way back to Andy with a touching ending of Andy sending his toys away to a little girl.

All Toy Story series showed how Woody helped people by bringing them back to a family of his own and finally get back to his own owner, Andy. No matter what happened, he believes in his owner and still get back to him. A loyal friend he is....

Before Toy Story 3 ends, Andy sent his toys to a little girl and before he gave the girl Woody, he said "Woody and I were together since I can remember. He never give up on you and will always be there for you."

This part, it just reminds me of this one person whom I have grown admired of. That was the person who went to watch the movie with me and was sitting next to me. (No, I did not turn to that person and hugged her or looked at her with watery eyes.)

She is smart like Woody, able to find her way in all kinds of situation, though there were times when she was lost and of course she asked for directions and help to go back to herself, but of course she can always find her way back without the help (just like Woody, she is capable of finding the way back to her world and amazingly she will never leave her friend behind but will bring them along the way). She is dependable, she believes in her friend, she takes care of the people around her, and there are just too many things for me to say about her.

There were so many times that I have been rude to her,

but she never left,

she stays and gives her all.

There were so many times that I have showed no mercy and loses my temper on her,

but she never left,

she stays and gives her all.

There were so many times that she was annoyed with me,

but she never left,

she stays and gives her all.

No matter what kind of a hard time I have given her,

she never left.

She stays and still gives her best.

In my Toy Story, she is like my Woody who has never left me and had been patient with me. A loyal friend she is.......... A sister to me she is.......... and a family she is........ To infinity and beyond, she will always be in my heart.......

Bloody Kancil + Egoistic Man....

Here I was, driving slowly(so slow that I can't believe I am the one driving), though my mind was thinking of the best route to reach my destination faster and with less traffic. I looked at the side mirror and slowly I turned in. The car behind me, (I think he just don't like people cutting into his lane, goes into the opposite direction and turned in to my lane before he even finish cutting me and BAM!!!!!! He knocked into my car............. and after all these years of driving, I am hit..... HARD!!!!

There were only scratches on my car but his passenger door was hit and went deep and there was an obvious curve.....

Well, I wouldn't say it is entirely his fault, because I forgot to put my signal but I was very sure he was far away before I turned in but guess his ego got over him and he had to cut me.... but in the end, before I could do much explanation, my dad paid for the damages when it was not entirely my fault and of course, because I did not explain to my father clearly.

There goes RM180 for him...... Ishhh... I remember where he stays and did thought of going to his place and demand for it but then, it is a past now... and at least I am safe. Besides, I wouldn't want to see his face again...... Bloody Kancil driven by an egoistic man..... IShhh......

Back to Study....

AaaaHhhhhh!!!!! I'm going back to study...... *sighhhhs*

After months of just sitting at home and rot while playing games and watching dvds, I am finally going back to study for my degree.

Just a recap, I finished my internship on March 31st. My presentation was on April 21st. Result came to the house in May and that was the end of my two years study in Kolej Damansara Utama, Penang.

First thing that came to me after presentation was, "YESHHHHH!!!! I'm finally done with KDU!!!!!!"

Oh yes, I was absolutely happy that I am finished studying for two years but frankly, I do miss parts of it, not much, enough to keep as my college life's$ memory.

I started to send in my applications for three Universities. One in University of South Australia (UniSA) in Adelaide. Two, Monash University finally Taylor University, both in KL. I received the conditional offer from UniSA but I have reject and postpone my dream of going overseas to study because it is just too expensive for my family to support me there. Taylor which is under UniSA for communications was also denied by me. So, which means, there's only Monash left and yes, I accepted the offer they gave me and paid for the initial fees. I'll be going there on July 12th.

There is not many reasons why I chose Monash and not Taylor. Only two, if I'm not mistaken. First, there was just a slight difference between the fees from Taylor and Monash. Secondly, Monash is more well known and is ranked in the 100th list in the world universities ranking. So, why not pick up the one with a stronger brand when the fees are almost the same, right?

When I first knew that I am going here for my degree, instead of thinking "WOW!!!! I'm going here to study!", I felt a surge of worry and fear and told myself, "My parents, my siblings believe in me, so there is nothing to worry about, I will do my best, give my best, learn as much as I can and do as much as I can and I will not let them down."

Well, I know I have said that quite a few times (not the exact thing but somewhat similar) and I had not really walk the talk but I will make sure this time it will be different. Just like for this blog, I will do my best to make a difference.

The lightings really make this university look pretty nice, eh?

Well, another two weeks and I will be there. July 12th, first day of orientation, July 19th, first day of class. Another beginning..................

Penang...

Penang,
My hometown,
Quarter of My Life...

Penang,
A place should be seen by all,
A place should be visit by all.

Penang,
A food paradise,
A historical place.

What is Penang Island to you?

To me, Penang is......I grew up in this tiny island that you will need to use the magnifying glass to help you find in the map.........

This island is where I was born, an island that I should know better but obviously I don't.

An island that you grew up on and is still staying on.... good or bad thing??

It is a good and a bad thing.....Though Penang is not the only place where I have all my sweet and sorrow memories, it is a place where I had most of my memories, most of my life spent on.....

Penang,
A place not known by many,
A place that I do wish to leave and explore other places...

You Could Be....

You could be somewhere up there;
You could be somewhere beside me.
I wouldn't know,
I wouldn't see.

Never a chance will I get to see you;
Never a chance will I get to talk to you;
Never a chance will I get to see you smile;
Never a chance will I get to hear you laugh.

The times and ways of me treating you,
The images are clear.
The times and days of our happiness together.
The images are blur.

The only dream I have of you,
Were the one showing me what I have done.
The only thing I wish for,
Are for you to be back.

I say this now,
Late and unheard by you,
I am truly sorry for all the things I have done.

I say this now,
Late and unheard by you.
That I miss and love you most.

You are up there somewhere;
You are around me somewhere;
I hope you are;I wish you are.

I do not hope for forgiveness,
I do not hope for any good in return until the end of my life,
I just hope that you are doing great,
I just hope that you have someone way better than me in your next life.

The thing I wished for most,
Is for you to hear,
What I want to say and
It will be things that will never reach you.

On A Windy Night...

The wind is blowing strongly....
The rain is coming
There are no stars tonight.....
And the moon is hiding behind the clouds....

The black sky has become grey....
And I am sitting here at the balcony...
Listening to the wind....
And watching the rain pour...

My mood is down....
I have no answer to that....
My heart is crying....
But my eyes aren't....

Most of the time....
While watching the rain....
The drops of rain will take my soul away
and I would be in another world....
A world of my own....

Sometimes...
The rain do not take me away....
and on this night....
The rain did not bring me with them....

I have no reasons to why am I sitting here alone in the darknor do I have any reasons to why is my heart crying....
It is just like the other nights....
Where my mood just change without me knowing why...

I have the urge of calling you....
or just to message you....
but whenever I take up my phone....
I could not find the courage to dial your numberor to just send you a message....

I know if I have anything....
I can find you....
You said before you would be here....
And I believe you would....

But I could not find the courage to ask you to be here....
I could not find the courage to call and tell you how I feel....
I could not find the courage to just text you..... So I let my mind wonders....
I let my heart cry....
and hope that my eyes will too....

I know even if my eyes do as I wish....
I might not feel better....
I know even if my eyes listen to me and drop a tear...
Everything will not go away....

People can think that I am doing this to myself...
Making myself think.. Sitting here all alone....
You might think so too...
and you can think so....

I do not care what other people think...
I just know that sometimes at night....
I do not have any control over my thoughts....
I do not have any control over my feelings....

I know that if I want to take control...
I can....
But in a way....
I just don't want to....

I have been like this for god knows how long....
In a way.... I don't feel like changing...
In a way.... I want to change....
In a way..... I do not know what I want....

You have been here for me....
And I am happy that you came into my life.....
I appreciate it...
I cherish it....

At this particular night...
With my heart crying....
My eyes now swelling with tears..
.I just want to say Thank You for being here...

You have changed something in me.... Made me realise something....
and I am happier than before... I know it.... I felt it....
Though there are still things inside me...Things that I guess you would like to find out....
And because of that you are still trying to get into me....

I will do my best to open the doors.....
I will do my best to bring you in....
From the front door or from the back....
I will do my best to find a door to the walls that I have built....
To let you in....And slowly and hopefully.... others tooo....

Lastly... I still like to say thank you....
Thank you for everything....
There's nothing I can do to repay you....
But to remember all that you have done....

So Close yet So Far....

The moon is out,
The stars are out,
and I'm sitting by the window sill,
Looking high up into the sky.

I searched the sky for you,
But I Couldnt Find.
I tried to feel for you,
But you are not anywhere.

I hope for your return,
I long for your return.
I wish for your return,
I pray for your return.

No matter how I hope,
No matter how I wish,
No matter how I pray,
I know you will never return.

I hope that you are well,
I wish that you are great,
I pray that you are happy,
and I know you are looking down at me.
Hoping, wishing and praying the same thing and even more.

I will remember you,
Remember the things you did for me,
Remember the advices you gave me,
Remember the love I get from you.

In distance,
You are far away.
In heart,
We are close together.

Done with IT...

The way you left was kind of unacceptable...
But I still have to accept it...
It might be my fault...
It might be your fault...
Who cares now that I am done with it...

I am tired...
Tired of giving love to a person who doesn't deserve it...
Tired of thinking of a way to repair and make it better...
Tired of trying to find my guts to ask you again "What is it that turned this friendship upside down"
Tired of valuing this friendship when you do not even show a sign of you trying...

Trust and respect are two things you must earn...
You earned my trust and respect...
You threw my trust away...

I realise quite a few things with you leaving...
Like what he said...
You are just a part/phase in my life...
Like what he said...
Don't think about it so much and go the way it flows...

I wonder and wonder and wonder...
Why do I value our friendship so much...
When it is only coming from me?
Why do I crack my brain
When you do not seem to care?

I know it is impossible for me to accept it instantly...
because it will take some time for me to accept... but I am getting used to certain things...
It is impossible for me to stop caring for you....
because it is not in my nature to stop caring for someone even though they have left me...

I am done with you but it will take me time to really get over you...
All I hope now is that... to be a bit more selfish...
you will leave and leave me alone...
Stop showing that you care...
Stop showing that you still wanna be friends...
Stop showing your nice face...
because sometimes I feel like slapping that bloody face...

If you want this to end... END IT...
If you want this friendship still... Help me to repair it instead of leaving me doing the things...
If you want this to go on... Please do it without me feeling it...

It stings when you do it and I can feel it...
It stings even more when you give me hope that we can be friends again...
It stings when you be nice and evil the next moment...
It just stings to be your friend sometimes...

Friendship

Sometimes river flows fast and sometimes slow.
But no matter what speed it's moving,
It never stop and there's no end.
Just like Friendship.

Although we don't always talk,

laugh or see each other,

Always remember one thing,
I'll be there with you.
No matter what happen,
No matter where you are.

I can't promise you that
I will never forget the great times I had with you,
The laughter we shared.
But one thing for sure,
I truly cherish the time we had
and,
All the the time we will have in the future.

Sometimes you make me sad,
Sometimes you make me happy.
Sometimes you hit me,
Sometimes you pinch me.
But I forgive you for all that
Because we are friend.

Soooo.........

May all my friends will have a life
As bright as the sun,
As sweet like the sweet,
As round as the moon.




Friendship is like Promise.

"Once a promise, forever a promise"
"Once a friend, forever a friend"

Friends....

Friends come and go but every time before they leave, they leave us here with memories.

Someone once told me, “Friends should not be too close as one will leave the other sooner or later and will regret that they cannot maintain the same closeness they had.”

It is not what we will have or get in the future but what we had in the past and whether did we cherish and treasure it deep in our heart or not. We cannot plan for the future and what we plan might not come true. Besides, we should make everyday like our last. As tomorrow is still a mystery to us and today is the best present we have.

Therefore, we should do what we can and enjoy it while we are together especially family and friends. Leave the future worries until the time comes. Why worry about tomorrow when today has not end?

It is better to ‘taste’ before than never get the chance to ‘taste’ it with that particular person. It might be bitter in time to come but let it be sweet once when you are capable in making the sweetness.

To tell you deep in the heart, maybe in the future, the closeness we have now will fade but this is what I have to say before the closeness fade:-

I am grateful to have a bunch of family and friends that love me, support me when I need it. There are some passengers in my life that gave me support and love too and they will never be at the back of my heart where all there is left is just bad memories and guilt. I feel comfortable to have friends (some) like you all. Some of them taught me lessons of life and some are still teaching. Maybe I dislike that person but I am still happy to have that person in my life because he/she has taught me and is still teaching me the lessons that I should know to stay in this world. I also cannot thank all the people around me for the good and bad things they have given me. They have been challenges and encouragement for me to live on with my life although sometimes I feel like giving up. Maybe the closeness of our relationship will slowly fade when we are a few miles away or worse still, hundred and thousand miles apart, I will still pray for you and us. I am sure I will change physically and mentally with the running of time but the relationship between us will not change.

Meaning to My Name....

From young till now, my parents and my siblings always say that my chinese name is to help my bad temper. Well, my name is there, but I don't think it helped to make my temper better.

My Chinese name is “周诗慧” whereby 周 is my surname and “诗慧” is my name.

They were told by the psychic, I think that person is called a psychic, that my name “诗慧”means “死火”. Whereby in Hokkien, it means "si hui" and in translate it word by word means the fire is put out. Unfortunately the so called fire that is my bad temper was not put out.

So guess that person is not that good or maybe the fire is burning too wildly to be put out. So since he says that “诗” = “死” and “慧” = “火”. I did not like it. Who knows, it could be a fire that they notice for something else and now they are putting it out!!!! Hehe... Well, that is just me crapping. Anyway, the pronunciation is different for my name and for what it means in mandarin but very much alike in hokkien. Whatever it is, I do not like how it is interpreted.

As I was playing games just now, another interpretation for my name came to my mind. The word “诗” by itself in mandarin means poetry and “慧” could not stand on its own. When it is combined with another word “智”, it means something. "智慧" means knowledge. "诗的智慧" or "诗歌的智慧" is what it is in Mandarin. It means Poetry Knowledge when translate it literally.

So, when it is cut short or should we say in Mandarin way of abbreviation, it becomes “诗慧”. Nice right the meaning of my name? The Knowledge of Poetry.... I know I am not poetic but give me time and I will be.... Hehe....

My fire will not be put out by my name and how they always say it will be because it is not the fire that has to be put out... it is the fire for the knowledge of poetry to be revealed!!!! =D

This Will Last....

Blogs, I have created a few. Actually, too many for one hand to finish counting. Few of them, I hoped it would be permanent, but I did not kept that promise and created more. I would say, I have the same hope for this blog too and I will do my best to make it permanent.

Most of my blogs are really dark, mostly the narrow minded me talking there and sharing all the pessimist side of me and not a drop of the positive me. Yes, I am a very person who thinks negatively and is trying hard to change.

I failed to stay loyal to a number of my blogs, not because they are not me, it is just that they are too me. Whenever I read them over again, I just get bored of myself and certain times, I hated myself for acting the way I was, I get tired of myself for behaving that way and not be more positive. (There are also posts that I love them to bits.)

This blog will last, because I will make it last. As I believe time is able to change all things and that includes me. I will change to be a better person than I am yesterday.

I have a past which stories created the person I am today and the present me will create the person I am tomorrow. I hope for a brighter future, in term of me being more happy which means, less of a pessimist.